Think about your most important past partners for a moment.
What drew you to each of them?
Was it their boldness?
Was it their quiet + mysterious strength?
Was it their soft vulnerability?
Was it was the way they helped others?
Was it their humility?
Was it their rich and layered self-awareness?
If you are having trouble expressing your vulnerability, chances are you will be drawn to someone who is very comfortable with this so you can experience it through them FIRST.
If you have trouble being courageous and taking risks, you will likely attract a more wild and adventurous partner.
When we pair with a person, we yearn to embrace in ourselves the very quality we admire most about them.
Our chosen partner will often mirror the qualities that are still UNCONSCIOUS within us in order to help bring them to surface.
It's like a big fat magnifying glass that helps us better see ourselves!
But here’s the catch.
When we DON'T embrace those qualities in ourselves, we begin to resent our partner for the very thing we INITIALLY admired about them.
So what does it take to embrace it?
It takes challenging the resistance and shame stories...and welcoming the feelings that begin to come up as we try on those new part of ourselves.
The parts have likely been hidden and blocked off for many, MANY years.
It takes having open and understanding conversations with our partner to help them know that we are struggling.
It takes asking for support from our partner, so they can help us embrace our desired qualities, much more gracefully.
It takes enormous patience, because entering this domain takes stretching ourselves…
...and a new tolerance for discomfort.
But can you imagine whats possible on the other side of that?