Your growth is not abandonment of others.
I wish the first thing transformational work prepared me with was that I would feel disconnected from my partner for a while.
That while I was searching for my deep truths...
...I would feel more lonely before I would feel more connected.
That is the most important thing I wish I would have known.
What if I told you that it isn’t only our partner that is afraid of your new emerging self?
What if I told you that you may be deeply afraid of discovering your new self too?
What if I told you that the growing stage can cause numbness inside of us that we aren’t even aware of until WE slowly begin to adjust to ourselves.
What if I told you that that very fear of knowing and embracing your new self may be blocking you from your partner.
SOMETIMES OUR FEAR OF BEING DISCONNECTED FROM OUR PARTNER CAN BE BIGGER THAN THE DISCONNECTION ITSELF.
How much space do we have in our relationship to tolerate moments of disconnection?
How do we communicate those growing pains to one another in a way that doesn’t push each other off the edge?
When we begin a journey of growing while we are in a relationship, it very rarely happens in a fully balanced way for both partners.
Usually, one partner takes the first step and impatiently waits for their partner to come along.
It’s natural to want everyone else to grow in the same way that we do.
When we are expanding and seeing the world from a more (self-perceived) empowered place...
...of course, we want our partner to be right there with us.
But what if your version is not actually more empowered - what if it’s just a different form of empowered than your partner’s?
We each have a completely different path to our unique self-awareness.
Not being able to meet someone where they ARE can be very hurtful.
HOW we approach our partner to join us on that path...is a significant piece of the puzzle.
Are we criticizing them now and being arrogant now that we have a more (superior) mentality on life?
Are we able to be with the distance in a loving way?
Are we able to show them our softer feelings and real fears underneath our desperate attempts to get them to cooperate with us?
How can we create more space for discomfort and compassion towards our partner...
...while we are growing?
To anyone going through the beginning stages of their own transformational journey...
...know that your partner may be triggered by your changes and that that is COMPLETELY normal.
...they don't need to do the journey in the same exact way that you do in order to find their own truth or stay connected to you.