According to at least 5 new-age personality tests.

But hey, who am I kidding - they were SPOT ON.

51% Introvert and 49% Extrovert .

You can probably imagine the constant chaos and confusion in my mind trying to choose between the two.


It was absolutely.....paralyzing.


I have always EQUALLY craved time by myself as much as time spent with loved ones.

It can pull us apart when we don’t fine-tune and discover where our unique balance is.

It becomes essential that we begin to create a life that actually MATCHES our unique essence.


We need to tend to BOTH sides of these.

But most people don’t even KNOW their unique nature.


Many introverts have a wild extrovert somewhere in them - that they neglect.

Many extroverts need quality alone time away from other people’s chatter - that they neglect.


So how do we DO this well?
How do we find our BALANCE?


Well, first, we recognize that we will probably attract someone who is the opposite of us - someone that mirrors the closeted introvert or extrovert.


It’s safer and easier to experience our closeted parts THROUGH THEM.


Until it becomes painful


Eventually, we must come out of the closet and meet them in those parts for OURSELVES.


The introvert may have found a way to hide and SELF-REGULATE because of too many rules and a rigid childhood.

They probably crave more freedom as an adult.

They probably choose a very self-expressed partner.


The extrovert may have had TOO MUCH FREEDOM as a child and secretly craves boundaries and containment.

They probably crave occasional solitude to create their own boundaries.

They probably choose a very boundaried and contained partner.


Neither will probably admit that these are true (at first).

I sure as hell didn’t.


Because once we do - we know we need to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.


And that is hard.

And it is uncomfortable.


But it is also quite FREEING at the same time.


This is where intimate partners are helping each other balance themselves - without evening realizing it.

This is where we can humbly admit that we NEED each other’s help - in order to access the lost and neglected parts of ourselves.



Silvy Khoucasian

Silvy Khoucasian

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