I recently wrote an article for the incredible health and beauty company Onna Lifestyle.
Their work is dedicated to helping women (and men) expand their sexuality, their pleasure, and their sensuality.
Below is one of the questions I answered in the article:
ADEL: WHAT IS YOUR BEST ADVICE ON HOW TO ATTRACT HIGH-QUALITY LOVE AND GREAT RELATIONSHIPS?
SILVY: I think a big part of attracting healthy love is getting clear on what we really need in a partner, rather than just focusing on what we want.
We can want an adventurous partner, but that really may not be the best (match) for us.
Also, if we grew up in unhealthy homes, our brains will go off like fireworks around people that are similar to our family members.
If that is the case, then we can’t really rely on our emotions alone to help us choose a healthy partner.
Giving people who feel more (neutral) a chance can absolutely grow into a deeper connection.
It might not (feel) intense or exciting in the beginning because having a peaceful and loving connection might not be something we have a tolerance for yet.
Also, I suggest spending time getting clear on what (didn’t work) in your past relationships.
Explore what the negative common denominators of your past relationships were, such as what was the deal breakers were or what significant needs weren’t being met.
Then choose 2-3 must-haves around those things and vow to yourself that you won’t budge on those things unless there is some genuine flexibility.
Another important tool is to spend time getting clear on where you tend to shrink or personally struggle in relationships.
Recognizing some of our limitations before we enter a partnership again helps us become less guarded and less defensive when we are the source of pain.
Write yourself a passionate love letter and allow yourself to feel the emotions you want to experience in your future relationships.
I believe that attracting a partner requires a combination of things.
Manifestation and desire work can be extremely powerful when it is paired up with
self-responsibility, and healthy boundaries.